Frustration due to my own Weakness

This place is neither here nor there,

Its here but finally it isn't there.

Simple thus our lives are still connected in a network... even if it was severed.. or lost...

It somehow relate back... and intertwine back in our lives...

Though the burden is deep and heavy... its a burden to be beared... not by one... but by many...

Why? when one want to forget.... he remembers...

someone always does...

Sorry... it just had to come out... but nobody listens... and hopefully nobody reads this....

Why does our mind want us to dream...? when we are already awake...

Why do I always try though my head said no.... but the heart beats on...

Why must someone start crying then it stops.... so it can end with a rainbow?

Does a happy ending comes with a tragic beginning?

I like to ask this to whom who can ever answer the unanswerable....

Life... is a journey of no return... thats a lie....

Love is blind... and madness comes.... thats true...

A flower always blooms twice.. i like to see them try....

A land of milk and honey... there is no such place...

Why is there a distance in all things?

Why do I write and yet unanswered?

Why do I even try to write....?

Adourne a year, of relapse and guilt

The skies here seem so endless.

That was the first thought when i arrive here. As I unpack my things, and put up my stuff, I reached into my sachel and felt something odd inside. i pop my hand out, like David Blaine's does with his magical hat... (if he ever had one) It was old and yet....hmmm i think it needs a bath, it was pretty dusted and torn, god, wonder what happen to it... probably mistook it for one of the stacks of magazine I brought along..(comics too).

As I ran thru the pages, i saw myself so young then.... and uh.. so short too in this book.. It reminded me of how much school was for me. Then, as i peruse the back, signatures of all the people i knew then.. Some, sad to say, I couldn't even remember the faces.. or names as well.

Oh dear...

Now, as I sit down on the chairs in the academy, a sense of dejavu just reminence in the head. Laughter of young lads, not knowing whats installed and some the very too serious types that can't take a bribe.

I miss those times. when i was never down like this.. i cant even crack a smile without showing guilt.. Am I a person that so easily forgoten. i guess i was, a 'never was' then a 'ever will'.